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About Chingy892987 : I'm an artist and can be pretty shy.
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Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11783) - you deserved it (1297)
On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States
Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3780) - you deserved it (5088)
Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34312) - you deserved it (1605)
On 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18868) - you deserved it (3405)
On 12/23/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by cj123 - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9962) - you deserved it (1005)
On 12/22/2011 at 3:09am - love - by Jean - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18535) - you deserved it (2195)
On 12/22/2011 at 12:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7869) - you deserved it (60974)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59060) - you deserved it (11121)
On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was watching tv with my grandpa, and he stops flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote lands on my stomach as my mom and grandma walk in the door. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27530) - you deserved it (2970)
On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)
Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20752) - you deserved it (2251)
On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States
Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23519) - you deserved it (1564)
On 03/03/2010 at 12:37am - misc - by holycrap (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40308) - you deserved it (3184)
On 07/01/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by Liz (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (377406) - you deserved it (54139)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (372895) - you deserved it (412929)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29940) - you deserved it (5214)
On 12/24/2008 at 6:19am - intimacy - by sixsix - Sent from mobile version
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