![[fr]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, for my birthday, my brother gave me some of those fake 'Harry Potter' edible cockroaches. I ate one. It wasn't fake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44960) - you deserved it (6398)
On 05/23/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by partygirlxxx - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was helping some mental health patients at work, I spent 20 mins to fail to connect the DVD player to the TV and went back to make them something to eat. I came back into the room after 5 mins and one of the patients had connected it for himself. He has a profound learning disability. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32401) - you deserved it (14995)
On 05/23/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Tom_why - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music, I was wearing a nice shirt and had my ipod in my breast pocket when I noticed a cute girl smiling at me so I smiled back and she started to walk over while turning down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21076) - you deserved it (48320)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60654) - you deserved it (2410)
On 05/18/2009 at 11:29pm - love - by KarlwithaK (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58402) - you deserved it (1881)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10960) - you deserved it (38540)
On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39522) - you deserved it (7409)
On 05/18/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my sister in law walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22250) - you deserved it (97735)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47572) - you deserved it (16512)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (120418) - you deserved it (28803)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43297) - you deserved it (5677)
On 05/17/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37991) - you deserved it (2458)
On 05/16/2009 at 4:39am - misc - by notacreep (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27155) - you deserved it (2059)
On 05/14/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by overlandparkmommie (woman) - United States
Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46059) - you deserved it (10927)
On 05/14/2009 at 8:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I took my mom out to a fancy restaurant, and spent close to $300 on her Mother's Day present. Later, my little brother drew her a card with crayons on pink construction paper. She cried. He is 20 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49580) - you deserved it (4162)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by Jess-zee (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
