About Cherryheart : This is the part where you have to imagine a text that tells you something about me, have fun!
Cherryheart's FML badges
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Cherryheart's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 10:55am / United States / Work
Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML
by strokesie / 07/03/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Ohio) / Work
by keiran123 / 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
by ADickySituation / 05/05/2013 at 12:14am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 11:04am / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML
by Reno / 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
by maturity / 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by Ribbed for Her Disaster / 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids
by madiison09 / 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about 5 minutes in, she said she had to… Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack.… Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to…
- Today, or rather the other night, I had sex with my crush. The only problem is that I got blackout… Today, I was driving around on a backroad with my boyfriend and I managed to get my car stuck. Now… Today, my nutty ex-girlfriend has told our families and friends that I refuse to tell her if I want…