I just try to live my life.
Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancee, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancee for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (102017) - you totally deserved it (2424)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50997) - you totally deserved it (7851)
On 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58836) - you totally deserved it (2067)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7590) - you totally deserved it (178779)
On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9430) - you totally deserved it (112846)
On 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm - health - by sheyo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, silettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. Im grounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30976) - you totally deserved it (97938)
On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (487534) - you totally deserved it (31046)
On 02/09/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
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