Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ch0sen

Search for a member

Ch0sen

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 821
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Ch0sen : 20 year old college graduate with a major in Biology, preparing to enter medical school.

I am a loyal zealot in devotion to Common Sense; this being said, it is my duty to declare death to the infidels.

One thing I hate most? When people fail to utilize their brains prior to commenting.

Messages are welcomed, although timely responses are not guaranteed.

Ch0sen's page activity

Visits<b>meowmixgirl</b> - yesterday at 4:54am<b>senortaco</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:12pm<b>NikkiRainbow63</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:45pm<b>kupokid94</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:02pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 7:20am<b>usagi_t</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 2:26am<b>Newtonthe3rd</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:55pm<b>xxlowsnip3rxx</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 5:54pm<b>kuzie</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 7:58am<b>AznLuvsMusic</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 6:00pm<b>codayday</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 1:08am<b>laylamarianna</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 11:31pm<b>IvetteGar</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 12:58am<b>The_Mr_Troll</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 7:54am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 8:52pm<b>Akirea</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 8:43am<b>Batmann1177</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:25pm<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 1:54pm

Ch0sen's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Ch0sen's badges

Ch0sen's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56305) - you deserved it (10327)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

#19995362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22234) - you deserved it (1380)

On 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm - work - by kaitlyna15 - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that when people in my apartment complex warn their kids about strangers, they use me as the example. FML

#19348901
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23227) - you deserved it (3549)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by iamnotalawyer (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12506) - you deserved it (56733)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40609) - you deserved it (3313)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31672) - you deserved it (4585)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

#6613935
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31098) - you deserved it (3039)

On 12/05/2009 at 9:10am - misc - by thewallrules - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87360) - you deserved it (14599)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
923 comments

I agree, your life sucks (344108) - you deserved it (38473)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said there was someone else, and that he has been in love with her for a while. Turns out, the new girl was his online video game character. I got dumped for a video game. FML

#637749
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91124) - you deserved it (8574)

On 03/27/2009 at 1:12am - love - by w00tz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a friend in the street but he didn't see me, so as a joke I decided to ring him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, sighed and didn't pick up. FML

#1016
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30509) - you deserved it (2755)

On 01/12/2009 at 9:47pm - misc - by patty - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: