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Caymokomoko

Offline (the 12/01/2015 at 9:51pm) | Search for a member

Caymokomoko

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 November 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5151
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About Caymokomoko : I believe i can fly, i believe i can touuch the sky...

Caymokomoko's page activity

Visits<b>Gracemonique3</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:55am<b>zee8</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 11:28pm<b>uasb97</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 3:02am<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 11:47pm<b>hayleycasford</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 10:35pm<b>Scotth901</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 6:56pm<b>zobara</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 9:43am<b>demamcgirl16</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 6:33am<b>wildnargles</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 2:53am<b>kaylarose114</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 7:44pm<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 3:59pm<b>droid1126</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:50pm<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:50am<b>SkipBeatOtaku</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:11pm<b>sunshinepoptart</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 8:00pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 4:49pm<b>Anumayis</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 9:04pm

Caymokomoko's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Caymokomoko's badges

Caymokomoko's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39782) - you deserved it (4336)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
106 comments

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

#21118358
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46198) - you deserved it (5364)

On 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm - animals - by BetterThanChocolate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32623) - you deserved it (41725)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52923) - you deserved it (20178)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42607) - you deserved it (7514)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56427) - you deserved it (5096)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38658) - you deserved it (8929)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47148) - you deserved it (3311)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML

#21104331
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45526) - you deserved it (4391)

On 04/04/2014 at 10:17am - kids - by AshleyP - United Kingdom

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

#21100982
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39852) - you deserved it (2937)

On 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Hyogo)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46398) - you deserved it (6885)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

#21092859
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47963) - you deserved it (6219)

On 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41417) - you deserved it (4659)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44008) - you deserved it (4736)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)



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