About Caymokomoko : I believe i can fly, i believe i can touuch the sky...
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Caymokomoko's favorite FMLs
by BlondePsycho / 12/29/2014 at 11:14pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML
by Brasilian29 / 12/11/2014 at 7:01am / United States (California) / Love
Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML
by quickit / 12/05/2014 at 12:14pm / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML
by naladetet / 11/23/2014 at 3:31am / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by fuck fof and die dad / 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML
by no / 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by That_Indian_Guy / 11/15/2014 at 8:25am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/10/2014 at 9:28am / Germany (Berlin) / Love
Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML
by jennabee97 / 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 6:55am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Kids
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids
by highfive / 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
- Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to… Today, While at a resort, my friends and I decided to go to the indoor pool. I was surprised when I… Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling…