Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Caymokomoko

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

Caymokomoko

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4492
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About Caymokomoko : I believe i can fly, i believe i can touuch the sky...

Caymokomoko's page activity

Visits<b>SkipBeatOtaku</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:11pm<b>sunshinepoptart</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 8:00pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 4:49pm<b>Anumayis</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 9:04pm

Caymokomoko's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Caymokomoko's badges

Caymokomoko's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40456) - you deserved it (4868)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

#21166318
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50397) - you deserved it (5267)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by yepintheladiesroom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

#21158187
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44392) - you deserved it (3815)

On 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm - health - by half-dead in CA (man) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML

#21157299
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43564) - you deserved it (4921)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Mem (woman) - Sweden (Gavleborgs Lan)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47659) - you deserved it (7240)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

#21145062
193 comments

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37447) - you deserved it (8713)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52081) - you deserved it (7209)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64377) - you deserved it (14956)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I turned in my best painting yet for a scholarship competition. For once in my life, I was actually proud of a piece I'd done. I ended up losing the scholarship to some dickface who'd basically just glued together some crap from the dollar store and called it conceptual art. FML

#21132527
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42513) - you deserved it (5052)

On 05/06/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by assgoblins piss me off (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49674) - you deserved it (22278)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42600) - you deserved it (10890)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45369) - you deserved it (4749)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss told our production department that we're not allowed to be happy. FML

#21129081
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39842) - you deserved it (3354)

On 05/02/2014 at 8:03pm - work - by i guess (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37323) - you deserved it (4099)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: