About Caymokomoko : I believe i can fly, i believe i can touuch the sky...
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36725) - you deserved it (8091)
On 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)
Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42168) - you deserved it (3410)
On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32908) - you deserved it (2856)
On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only people who celebrate Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23089) - you deserved it (1724)
On 12/24/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37436) - you deserved it (6430)
On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24803) - you deserved it (1612)
On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33319) - you deserved it (2942)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44693) - you deserved it (7276)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29761) - you deserved it (9023)
On 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by brunetteshavemorefun (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27008) - you deserved it (2049)
On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26784) - you deserved it (13109)
On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)
Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27956) - you deserved it (2841)
On 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by jsmills92 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24260) - you deserved it (5707)
On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26768) - you deserved it (15160)
On 12/20/2012 at 9:49am - intimacy - by joyness (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27589) - you deserved it (3157)
On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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