Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Caymokomoko

Offline (the 12/01/2015 at 9:51pm) | Search for a member

Caymokomoko

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 November 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5143
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About Caymokomoko : I believe i can fly, i believe i can touuch the sky...

Caymokomoko's page activity

Visits<b>Gracemonique3</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:55am<b>zee8</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 11:28pm<b>uasb97</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 3:02am<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 11:47pm<b>hayleycasford</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 10:35pm<b>Scotth901</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 6:56pm<b>zobara</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 9:43am<b>demamcgirl16</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 6:33am<b>wildnargles</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 2:53am<b>kaylarose114</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 7:44pm<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 3:59pm<b>droid1126</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:50pm<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:50am<b>SkipBeatOtaku</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:11pm<b>sunshinepoptart</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 8:00pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 4:49pm<b>Anumayis</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 9:04pm

Caymokomoko's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Caymokomoko's badges

Caymokomoko's favorite FMLs

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44629) - you deserved it (3160)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML

#21311373
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32918) - you deserved it (14333)

On 12/04/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by Red (man) -

Today, I accidentally called my boss 'mom'. Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML

#21304319
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33011) - you deserved it (4141)

On 11/23/2014 at 3:31am - work - by naladetet - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML

#21302766
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37402) - you deserved it (8967)

On 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by fuck fof and die dad (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

#21300331
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34867) - you deserved it (3819)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

#21299443
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32296) - you deserved it (8942)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:25am - misc - by That_Indian_Guy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

#21296102
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38020) - you deserved it (5598)

On 11/10/2014 at 9:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43773) - you deserved it (4018)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43682) - you deserved it (13254)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34762) - you deserved it (3161)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38441) - you deserved it (4688)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41655) - you deserved it (6860)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34128) - you deserved it (17048)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38517) - you deserved it (4213)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46247) - you deserved it (6045)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: