About Caymokomoko : I believe i can fly, i believe i can touuch the sky...
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Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27371) - you deserved it (1754)
On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18464) - you deserved it (5347)
On 01/05/2013 at 12:30am - love - by VampObsessed - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13110) - you deserved it (2301)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)
Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20583) - you deserved it (991)
On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23877) - you deserved it (7072)
On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31323) - you deserved it (2923)
On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42050) - you deserved it (3121)
On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25615) - you deserved it (2574)
On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7547) - you deserved it (17036)
On 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by offtothejobcentre (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24832) - you deserved it (3855)
On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21575) - you deserved it (4453)
On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (6075)
On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18488) - you deserved it (4289)
On 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Saarland)
Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7843) - you deserved it (23923)
On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States
Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22516) - you deserved it (2221)
On 12/30/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by Wtf is wrong with her (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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