About Caymokomoko : I believe i can fly, i believe i can touuch the sky...
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Caymokomoko's favorite FMLs
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2015 at 1:14pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML
by anonymous / 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML
by don't get paid enough for this / 07/10/2015 at 10:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
by piercednipple / 06/30/2015 at 12:02pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by fat and broke / 06/28/2015 at 3:17am / United States (Washington) / Transportation
Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML
by oh no / 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Health
by justin Bieber / 06/15/2015 at 10:49am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, at my daughter's wedding celebration, I was doing a Michael Jackson act with a few buddies. It went well until I did the crotch-grab. I yanked my balls too hard and fell to the floor, writhing in agony in front of nearly 70 guests. FML
by not a kiddy fiddler really / 05/29/2015 at 4:15pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML
by sistertaxi / 05/14/2015 at 10:23am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by -_- / 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by seethroughpee / 05/06/2015 at 1:22am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by anonymousyo / 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/22/2015 at 10:14am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…