Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Catkam623

Offline (22 hours ago) | Search for a member

Catkam623

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 October 1997 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2720
  • Number of comments : 743
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Catkam623 : Hi stalker I'm bored.

P.S. it's a porsche 944, i actually do own it, and no my parents did not buy it for me, I bought it myself.

Catkam623's page activity

Visits<b>Deadpool47</b> - 42 minutes ago<b>Garrett2818</b> - one hour ago<b>TehAnderz</b> - 4 hours ago<b>allred1997</b> - 23 hours ago<b>Zz_I_Raditz</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 1:17pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Toriahh</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:35pm<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:08am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:13pm<b>akorpija</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 6:40am<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:12am<b>Teh_Sammi</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:10pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 10:58am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:50am<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:09am<b>Kah1on</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 9:42pm<b>iLike2Teabag</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 6:00pm<b>puppylvr01</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:45pm

Catkam623's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Catkam623's badges

Catkam623's favorite FMLs

Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML

#20718644
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31316) - you deserved it (47710)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55001) - you deserved it (64110)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50938) - you deserved it (4686)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65544) - you deserved it (18692)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

#20691900
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29357) - you deserved it (53377)

On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63191) - you deserved it (14397)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

#20647961
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44781) - you deserved it (5818)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69776) - you deserved it (7851)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML

#20615252
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65322) - you deserved it (4201)

On 04/23/2013 at 4:17am - love - by mybossisanass (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML

#20613403
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58257) - you deserved it (7826)

On 04/22/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML

#20605100
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42828) - you deserved it (6743)

On 04/19/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

#20574279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60262) - you deserved it (4457)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:46am - love - by nobodylovesme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40980) - you deserved it (5315)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50543) - you deserved it (6153)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: