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Cassro92's favorite FMLs
by anonymous / 08/22/2011 at 7:04am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 10:08am / United States / Kids
by smokin / 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by beablue18 / 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Animals
Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2011 at 4:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2010 at 1:26am / United States (Kansas) / Transportation
by nicki / 11/14/2010 at 12:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, I was accused of shop-lifting by an old lady in a supermarket. Having proven myself innocent, I tried to storm off to show my displeasure at the situation. In my haste to make a dramatic exit, I tried to go out of the entrance and walked straight into the automatic door. FML
by Anonymous / 11/05/2010 at 6:05am / United Kingdom (Gwynedd) / Miscellaneous
by myles bevan / 09/09/2010 at 6:01am / United Kingdom / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/26/2010 at 8:19pm / United States / Kids
by Fatty / 03/06/2010 at 8:05am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML
by Oops / 01/14/2010 at 10:55am / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML
by doglover / 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel… Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I… Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in…