About CassiaFlower : Hi :)
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9501) - you deserved it (548)
On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12058) - you deserved it (683)
On 05/25/2013 at 1:09am - work - by mmmretail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34958) - you deserved it (9408)
On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12893) - you deserved it (23745)
On 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by paper towel virgin - United States (Missouri)
Today, my aunt drove to my house and screamed at me for skateboarding in her driveway and denting her car. She then ransacked my room for said skateboard so she could break it in half. My aunt lives 4 hours away. I don't own a skateboard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30594) - you deserved it (1404)
On 05/23/2013 at 7:25pm - misc - by Dalistair (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7460) - you deserved it (66085)
On 05/23/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by faitoh - United Kingdom (Lisburn)
Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28924) - you deserved it (2052)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)
Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30620) - you deserved it (1703)
On 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm - love - by a single fuck (man) - Germany (Berlin)
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40687) - you deserved it (3053)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22349) - you deserved it (32555)
On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States
Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36054) - you deserved it (2451)
On 05/21/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34863) - you deserved it (2195)
On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34227) - you deserved it (2093)
On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39807) - you deserved it (3012)
On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37406) - you deserved it (5112)
On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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