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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went out to dinner with my brother. There was a very attractive man sitting a few tables away who kept glancing at me. When my brother excused himself to the bathroom, the man worked up the courage to come over and introduce himself to me. He asked me if my brother was single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52940) - you deserved it (3422)
On 06/21/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States
Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39190) - you deserved it (24852)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42699) - you deserved it (2763)
On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25306) - you deserved it (48594)
On 06/14/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by locksmack (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my sister and I got fitted for bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off my bright pink thong and left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman came out of the room holding my thong. She had tried it on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36869) - you deserved it (7223)
On 06/13/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by anonymous1 - United States (California)
Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43635) - you deserved it (3372)
On 06/13/2009 at 10:42am - kids - by Hackmanjones (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60105) - you deserved it (13170)
On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73181) - you deserved it (15322)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18264) - you deserved it (58260)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199113) - you deserved it (58819)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML
I agree, your life sucks (276880) - you deserved it (21790)
On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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