Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 121
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

CarneyBarney's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CarneyBarney's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31168) - you deserved it (4575)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50201) - you deserved it (5220)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30735) - you deserved it (81511)

On 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by svet (woman) - United States (New York)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: