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Carllie

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Carllie
  • Town/Country : San Francisco, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 June 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 480
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Carllie : *

Carllie's last visitors

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Carllie's FML badges

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Carllie's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

#15817034
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40461) - you deserved it (7980)

On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33949) - you deserved it (7695)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37319) - you deserved it (9473)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

#14068536
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56329) - you deserved it (8347)

On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14241) - you deserved it (37870)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

#13798665
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54387) - you deserved it (3073) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/11/2010 at 3:40am - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43593) - you deserved it (16156)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27634) - you deserved it (4914)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18855) - you deserved it (56864)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58817) - you deserved it (8487)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML

#13610925
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38399) - you deserved it (3667)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28032) - you deserved it (4352)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37689) - you deserved it (3216)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

#8784416
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5698) - you deserved it (17389)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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