Carlie_McCartney

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Carlie_McCartney

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 February 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4309
  • Number of comments : 277
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Carlie_McCartney : I hail from Liverpool, England. I have a border collie named Jake, and a pony called NyQuil. I'm left-handed, a singer/actress, and am addicted to The Phantom of the Opera, romantic films, and tall people [: Any questions? Feel free to PM me! :) Thanks for stopping by; have a beautiful day :3

Carlie_McCartney's page activity

Visits<b>ztodaro</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 2:04am<b>EwahWeeWah</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 9:42pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:49am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 6:52am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 4:34pm<b>maddymarie123</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:55pm<b>cjl1028</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 9:32am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 6:54am<b>joco4</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 10:30am<b>AnonymousKrew</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:14am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:36am<b>constipation</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 7:15am<b>shadow1248</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 12:53am<b>hullarms</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 5:29pm<b>Frowny</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 12:33pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 3:06pm<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 8:40pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:17pm

Fucked!<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 7:49am<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 2:40am

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Carlie_McCartney's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML

by Shnur / 04/05/2009 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML

by superstar / 03/30/2009 at 2:18am / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

by mugs / 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

by sucks / 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

by theassman / 03/11/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the cross walk. Suddenly I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML

by jazojigga / 03/01/2009 at 8:09pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

by Kasizzle / 02/26/2009 at 9:13am / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to a fastfood restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML

by efffmylife / 02/15/2009 at 4:27pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a work colleague announced that she is organising a bit of a party. She says, in front of everyone, that I'm not invited to "avoid ruining the vibe". FML

by Plush / 01/13/2009 at 11:43am / Work

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML

by zazadudu / 12/23/2008 at 1:47am / Love

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

by Lola / 12/20/2008 at 7:23am / Kids