Carlie_McCartney

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Carlie_McCartney

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 February 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3893
  • Number of comments : 277
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Carlie_McCartney : I hail from Liverpool, England. I have a border collie named Jake, and a pony called NyQuil. I'm left-handed, a singer/actress, and am addicted to The Phantom of the Opera, romantic films, and tall people [: Any questions? Feel free to PM me! :) Thanks for stopping by; have a beautiful day :3

Carlie_McCartney's page activity

Visits<b>EwahWeeWah</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 9:42pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:49am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 6:52am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 4:34pm<b>maddymarie123</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:55pm<b>cjl1028</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 9:32am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 6:54am<b>joco4</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 10:30am<b>AnonymousKrew</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:14am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:36am<b>constipation</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 7:15am<b>shadow1248</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 12:53am<b>hullarms</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 5:29pm<b>Frowny</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 12:33pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 3:06pm<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 8:40pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:17pm<b>ThatGuy622</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 11:14pm

Fucked!<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 7:49am<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 2:40am

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Carlie_McCartney's favorite FMLs

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2010 at 7:34pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2010 at 7:34pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I bumped into a lady in the New Jersey airport. After I politely apologized she said, "Watch your step, asshole." FML

by higagram / 09/09/2010 at 11:15pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2010 at 1:22am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals

Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML

by Somethingswrongwiththispic / 08/05/2010 at 4:17am / United States / Health

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

by Username / 08/04/2010 at 1:18am / Miscellaneous

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

by fartwoman / 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went into a music store to look into getting a new guitar. I picked up one that I was interested in and tried it out quietly. A sales representative approached me and asked me to "stop the noise and leave the guitars for serious customers." I've been playing for almost ten years. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2010 at 2:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML

by ChubbyAmerican / 05/22/2010 at 7:24pm / United States (New Mexico) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

by Haley. / 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2010 at 8:43am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated my chest has become and how she wants to help. Except I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2010 at 3:57am / United States (Utah) / Health

Today, I saw my boyfriend for the first time in a while. When he came over we realized that we had not only gotten the same haircut, but we were also wearing the same sweater. We are a matching old couple at 17. FML

by oldandmarriedapparently / 03/02/2010 at 12:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, it snowed in South Carolina for the first time in 10 years. It snowed eight whole inches! I was so excited, I yelled for my kids and ran outside to build a snowman. I ran out to the steps and slipped on ice. I woke up in the hospital with a bad concussion. The snow had all melted. FML

by owwie / 02/13/2010 at 3:11pm / United States / Kids