Carlie_McCartney

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Carlie_McCartney

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 February 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4312
  • Number of comments : 277
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Carlie_McCartney : I hail from Liverpool, England. I have a border collie named Jake, and a pony called NyQuil. I'm left-handed, a singer/actress, and am addicted to The Phantom of the Opera, romantic films, and tall people [: Any questions? Feel free to PM me! :) Thanks for stopping by; have a beautiful day :3

Carlie_McCartney's page activity

Visits<b>ztodaro</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 2:04am<b>EwahWeeWah</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 9:42pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:49am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 6:52am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 4:34pm<b>maddymarie123</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:55pm<b>cjl1028</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 9:32am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 6:54am<b>joco4</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 10:30am<b>AnonymousKrew</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:14am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:36am<b>constipation</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 7:15am<b>shadow1248</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 12:53am<b>hullarms</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 5:29pm<b>Frowny</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 12:33pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 3:06pm<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 8:40pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:17pm

Fucked!<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 7:49am<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 2:40am

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Carlie_McCartney's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 6:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML

by Kathryn / 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my ex-boyfriend's attempt to win me back involved standing at the bottom of my apartment building with two airhorns, blasting them and shouting. And for some reason, singing "Sweet Caroline", even though that's not my name. FML

by notsomuch / 07/31/2011 at 11:09pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

by ewww / 07/30/2011 at 10:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounds a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML

by Branski / 07/28/2011 at 8:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was discussing the traffic with my brother. He said the most common car colour is red. I said it was black. We ended up betting €100 on which three vehicles of either colour would pass by our house first. It seems a convoy of fire trucks had somewhere to be in a hurry. FML

by zerom / 07/22/2011 at 8:52pm / France / Money

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

by Bekah / 07/04/2011 at 9:24am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML

by Gustav Fjorder / 07/04/2011 at 3:27am / Switzerland / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

by mongoosemike / 06/07/2011 at 1:55am / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

by lemonhead / 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm / Health

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

by Stupid / 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm / United States / Work

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

by cantgetup / 04/03/2011 at 12:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

by nosleeptilpissoff / 03/18/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML

by nocakeforyou! / 03/15/2011 at 9:11am / Miscellaneous