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CarlBeckle

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CarlBeckle
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CarlBeckle's favorite FMLs

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

#1793303
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27492) - you deserved it (44768)

On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the girl I have loved for almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML

#1782670
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69273) - you deserved it (5901)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72233) - you deserved it (21999)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81439) - you deserved it (222511)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (161899) - you deserved it (39907)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML

#1547759
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62033) - you deserved it (8394)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by systeminitiated (man) - Canada

Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML

#1529921
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53457) - you deserved it (15753)

On 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm - health - by jlover42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

#1454784
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62770) - you deserved it (4554)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

#1452410
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59801) - you deserved it (27541)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20891) - you deserved it (80254)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

#1216393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45741) - you deserved it (6723)

On 04/22/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by fencernick (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34181) - you deserved it (90455)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

#1076233
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43548) - you deserved it (14512)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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