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CarlBeckle

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CarlBeckle

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CarlBeckle's favorite FMLs

Today I want to a funaral fir coworkar's fathar. Whila thara dad's call phona rang an ha laft to answar it. I turnd to brothar an said ( I can't baliava ha brought his call phona! ) Ha whispard ( I can't baliava ha's got covaraga. This is a daad zona! ) I laughd loudly. At a funaral.

#4053619
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21993) - you deserved it (53649)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my son is really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have grls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36353) - you deserved it (95635)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today I ad a cack-up wit my darmatologist. Wan I took off my pants sa noticad a small mark on my panis and was concarnad. I ad to inform ar tat it was not in fact a mola but a bruisa from gatting it stuck in a Snappla bottla two days prior to ta cack-up. FML

#3686221
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9463) - you deserved it (71988)

On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I want to mah friand's housa 4 tha frst tima. As I was pulling up, I calld him and askd him if I could usa his bathroom. Ha told ma to just go in tha back and usa it, so i did. As i'm sitting on tha toilat, somaona knocks on tha door and asks maho I am. It wasn't mah friand's housa. FML

#3645311
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52367) - you deserved it (11017)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by whitewater_al (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today,hila watching Tha Many Advanturas of Winnia-tha-Pooh with mah 5 yaar old, I raalizd y tha kangaroo's nama is Kanga, an y har son's nama is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Gat it? Yaah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

#3430057
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21744) - you deserved it (49211)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

#3361418
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57511) - you deserved it (8771)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was riding te subway to work. Barely anyone was on cuz of ow early it was. Me and tis one guy in a trenc coat were in te same cart. looool His stop came. He walked by me, flased me, rubbed is penis on ma arm, and ten ran away really fast. mega FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (129142) - you deserved it (9652)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today , wile reading some cemistry notes I came across te term "solid water" . Completely stumpd , I askd myself , "Wat te ell is solid water?" Ten I eard ma little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4t year science major in university . He still cecks te closet 4 monsters . FML

#3142518
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27944) - you deserved it (79894)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do u know that gullible said slowly sound like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minute trying to looool get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't!! FML

#3048050
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10916) - you deserved it (60018)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I Went Through The Drive Through At Dunkin Donuts And Askd Fir An Icd Coffee. After No Response I Start Frantically Screaming About Bad Service. After A While, The Woman Comes Out To Mah Car And Says, "Please Pull Up To The Speaker." I Yelld At A Garbage Bin Fir 5 Minutes. FML

#3019033
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11716) - you deserved it (111792)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

TODAY , I WAS AT MCDONALD'S AND I WAS GOING THROUGH THE DRIVE-THRU. AS I WAS DRIVING AWAY , I CHECKD MAH FOOD AND THE LADY HAD GIVEN ME A NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM HAPPY MEAL TOY BY MISTAKE. I GOT SO EXCITD THAT I CRASHD THE CAR INTO A POLE. I'M 36. FML

#2966896
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28653) - you deserved it (65470)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, It Was High School Graduation. Because Our School Colors Were Red, Black Andhite, And Our Principal Looked Somewhat Lyk Hitler, The Senior Class Prank Was To Salute Himhen He Finished His Speech. I Was The Only One. FML

#2938815
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46882) - you deserved it (32861)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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