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CareFace's favorite FMLs
Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could have dented the chassis". FML
by username / 07/31/2011 at 6:19pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Shelbitchh / 07/28/2011 at 5:11am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was riding on my bike when I saw a homeless guy holding a sign saying, "Need money, stranded from Oklahoma." I decided to be nice, and hopped off my bike to give him $2. He took the money, and then jacked my bike. FML
by Joe thomas / 07/24/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Florida) / Money
by Courtney / 07/21/2011 at 5:54am / United States / Transportation
Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML
by gross / 07/14/2011 at 9:09pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, my friends and I went to the park for some planking. Trying to find a daring spot, I climbed a tree and laid down on a branch. While I was waiting for my friends to take a picture, the branch gave out. FML
by Stephanie / 07/14/2011 at 3:17pm / United States (California) / Health
by anonymous / 07/03/2011 at 12:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to the lake today or tomorrow because I'd been called in to work. She won't believe me and thinks I'm simply avoiding her. I got called in to bathe and clean dogs' anal glands. FML
by xXx3mi_MuffinxXx / 07/01/2011 at 3:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by wispywee / 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
Today, my mom decided to do something new and borrowed some of my clothes. She's currently wearing a very small pair of short shorts and a very tight tank top. We're going to a very prestigious golf course and she won't change. FML
by Anonymous / 06/24/2011 at 1:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Ali (New York) / 06/23/2011 at 11:01pm / United States (New York) / Health
by fmlguy382 / 06/22/2011 at 4:13am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, a lady came for a death certificate at the city hall reception where I work. Reflexively, I… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and…