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CareFace's favorite FMLs
by melonhead77 / 03/29/2012 at 7:46am / Cyprus / Miscellaneous
by Teenagegirl / 03/26/2012 at 12:11am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
by purple / 03/24/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by ANNIEDBD / 03/23/2012 at 5:44am / Ireland (Dublin) / Work
Today, I needed to buy a new helmet. When I got to the sport shop, there was only one left in my size and preferred color. 30 minutes after buying it, my head starts itching. Turns out I paid $40 for lice. FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 5:54am / United States (California) / Health
by anonymous / 03/20/2012 at 6:33pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Love
by pagvscgrac / 03/13/2012 at 12:03am / United States (Missouri) / Health
by bowser_rawr16 / 03/12/2012 at 4:12pm / Canada / Money
by Anonymous / 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by shelly / 03/08/2012 at 5:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by thatchick3333 / 03/08/2012 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML
by craigtm029429 / 03/01/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by unknown / 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm / United States / Love
by sonofanut / 02/21/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML
by kohler9790 / 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me…