Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CareFace

Search for a member

CareFace

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4048
  • Number of comments : 247
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About CareFace : Bloody brilliant, mate.

CareFace's page activity

Visits<b>Celestial_Dreams</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 6:26pm<b>AdolphHipster</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:00am<b>maddque</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 2:01pm<b>Tykki</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:01pm<b>garage</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 7:56pm<b>gshocker20</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 8:56am<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 8:29pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 8:02pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 2:38pm<b>oNisao</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 4:31am<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 6:53am<b>zarosian</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 1:44pm<b>fillintheblanks</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 2:48pm<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 7:24pm<b>drainingyou</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 3:32pm<b>QueenoftheNerds</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:14pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:38am<b>itsalanis</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 3:14pm

CareFace's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of CareFace's badges

CareFace's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up with a giant red rash all over my face, so puffed up that I could hardly open my eyes. The doctor said it was probably from some of the compounds found in most makeup. I'm just getting into theatre and have auditions coming up. FML

#20549343
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30169) - you deserved it (3530)

On 03/18/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML

#20549296
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44349) - you deserved it (4550)

On 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by chickenmcnuggetgirl (woman) - Ireland (Meath)

Today, I told my girlfriend I've been a vegetarian for 6 years. Hearing this, my mom said, "No, you're not. I fry your mushrooms and onions in bacon grease." With this new information, I've been a vegetarian for about 76 hours. FML

#20544221
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33562) - you deserved it (8721)

On 03/15/2013 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, being too poor to buy makeup, I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out, just so I could look nice for my job interview. FML

#20541897
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36101) - you deserved it (4325)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

#20541069
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34526) - you deserved it (4454)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to go to my Hotmail account on my boyfriend's computer. When I typed in "hot", a big history list came down. It was all "Hot single mom looking for a good lay" Craigslist ads. FML

#20540391
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31645) - you deserved it (3714)

On 03/12/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML

#20540360
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25254) - you deserved it (8371)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32884) - you deserved it (50789) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, a man I once worked with passed away. He was a lovely, caring, and inspirational person whom I looked up to. My husband's form of consolation? "Old people die. Get over it." FML

#20538776
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30711) - you deserved it (3561)

On 03/10/2013 at 10:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20483) - you deserved it (59866)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML

#20536217
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33730) - you deserved it (2852)

On 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

#20536189
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26845) - you deserved it (3544)

On 03/08/2013 at 7:38pm - misc - by fuck you, gran (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally got the courage to confess my feelings to the guy I have loved for a year now in a long note. He called half an hour later and said, "I'm not going to read this crap, just tell me what it says". FML

#20535268
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31448) - you deserved it (7281)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:53pm - love - by hoolabaloo (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40898) - you deserved it (3850)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, I was being interviewed for an amazing job when I was asked what animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt, I picked the first thing that came to me. I responded with, "I'd be a turtle because I'm really slow sometimes." FML

#20531284
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23341) - you deserved it (16720)

On 03/04/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by seriously (woman) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: