Cardinal_Ximenez

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Cardinal_Ximenez

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 702
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cardinal_Ximenez's page activity

Visits<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 12/01/2009 at 5:02pm<b>drainyou123</b> - the 11/16/2009 at 7:05pm

Cardinal_Ximenez's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Cardinal_Ximenez's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

by robinhoood / 07/12/2009 at 1:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML

by Ian / 04/18/2009 at 10:24am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, was the first time my boyfriend slept over. He was hard, so I woke him up by whispering in his ear, "If you could get me to do anything right now, what would it be?" His response, "Can you get me a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream?" He was hard, for ice cream. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 6:57am / Denmark (Roskilde) / Intimacy

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

by nomorebeard / 03/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

by Opplyst11 / 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML

by isaacBENNETT / 03/17/2009 at 3:25am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML

by asdfasdf / 03/03/2009 at 10:38am / United States (Virginia) / Love