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About Captain_Badass : Basically, a sleep deprived student with a total lack of funding. Hey, at least, out of all that, I'm honest, right? Yeah, I know. Nevermind. FML.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34589) - you deserved it (6214)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28044) - you deserved it (3646)
On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19773) - you deserved it (8956)
On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question: 'On what continent is Canada located' she responded 'Antarctica.' If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23527) - you deserved it (2182)
On 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Brandon (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was supposed to take a test, but the professor didn't have it ready because he went to a concert last night. I sold my own tickets to that very concert in order to study for the test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30304) - you deserved it (2912)
On 08/09/2010 at 1:44pm - misc - by goodstudent (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30324) - you deserved it (19446)
On 08/09/2010 at 10:38am - love - by Forgotten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my father I registered for the Marines, and that I'm leaving for bootcamp next week. He asked if this means that he doesn't have to pay child support anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21398) - you deserved it (2161)
On 08/09/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by Widowmaker - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was in the checkout line at Foodmax around 11:30pm. Three girls behind me were buying Tequila, salt and some limes. I was buying frozen pizza and some toilet paper. They were going to an awesome party. I was going home to eat pizza by myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20532) - you deserved it (5674)
On 08/08/2010 at 3:14am - misc - by joe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to call the number a cute guy had scribbled onto a napkin and given to me. I was greeted by, "Hello, this is Dr. Allen's office." Surprised, because I didn't remember his name being anything close to Allen, I asked who Dr. Allen was. She's a psychologist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20414) - you deserved it (3788)
On 08/07/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by TRalalla (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you deserved it (4901)
On 08/07/2010 at 1:21am - love - by Hunterxx (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my grandma bought me a cemetery plot for my birthday. If that's not weird enough, it's about a 2 mile walk from where the rest of my family will be buried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23521) - you deserved it (1466)
On 08/06/2010 at 10:22pm - misc - by sicufovoshxbsjdk - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving around town in his car. To my surprise he took me out to lunch. As we were leaving, a girl walks up and asks if he had room for one more for a ride, sadly he only has two seats in his car.. Guess who had to walk! FML
I agree, your life sucks (34062) - you deserved it (3618)
On 08/06/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by ditched?? - United States
Today, I realized my name in French means 'penis'. This wouldn't be as bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32043) - you deserved it (2389)
On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I discovered how my ex-girlfriend exacted her revenge. Every item of clothing I own now has sequins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16108) - you deserved it (8018)
On 08/05/2010 at 1:00pm - love - by Luke - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)
Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24622) - you deserved it (2476)
On 08/04/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by LaRae17 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
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