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CaptainJR

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CaptainJR

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  • Number of visits : 278
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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CaptainJR's favorite FMLs

Taday an old guy approachad ma and askad if I had avar saan an alaphant withhita aars. I shook my haad. Ha than pullad tha pockat out of his short andhippad out his sax nosa. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33581) - you deserved it (4219)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today , I Had To Collect Mah Daughter From The Hospital. Her Boyfriend Was Even More Upset Than She Was , Cuz His IPhone's Screen Was Damaged Beyond Repair When The Doctor Pulled It Out Of Mah Daughter's Vagina. FML

#19631928
478 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49359) - you deserved it (4591)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and postd it on Facebook . When I checkd it later it had 20 comments on the picture . I was feeling good until I read the comments and lookd at the picture again . I left looool my vibrator on the the bathroom counter . FML

#19609877
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11260) - you deserved it (58823)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, After Mah Boyfriend Broke Up With Me, The Only Thing Positive About Mah Day Was A Pregnancy Test. FML

#19608696
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37542) - you deserved it (6370)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I shut mah finger in the car door. The door lockd. Then I droppd the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

#19579896
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30053) - you deserved it (2528)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:09am - health - by catherineratley - United States (Illinois)

Today, I cummed home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support mah now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, looool because I found him in mah bedroom, licking whipped cream off mah step-sister. FML

#19577163
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31036) - you deserved it (3964)

On 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

today the person I've been sharing my most intimate feelings with finally got bored and let me know I've been texting the wrong number fir weeks . FML

#19573313
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23820) - you deserved it (4323)

On 05/04/2012 at 3:14pm - love - by john (man) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today,hile I was sneaking a boy out of looool mah room at 2am , I ran into mah mom sneaking a man into her room . FML

#19568801
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33961) - you deserved it (9993)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever and really sick. I askd fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML

#19568325
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42723) - you deserved it (2679)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by Turnipseed3 - United States

TADAY MY HUSBAND INFORMED ME THAT HE HAS BEEN PURPOSELY FINISHING BEFORE ME IN BED AS A FORM OF PUNISHMENT FOR BEATING HIM AT MARIO KART. FML

#19563136
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31630) - you deserved it (6152)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States

Today... I found out that my resume contained the word ( masturbation ) in the skills section... courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. mega FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30241) - you deserved it (7456)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Yesterday, I was at my grlfriend's ouse 4 te frst time. I crackd a joke tat offendd er, so se gave me te silent treatment. I ad to pee, an since se wouldn't tell me were te batroom was, I went to look 4 it. I walkd in on er parents making love. FML

#19243836
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40180) - you deserved it (6872)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:59am - intimacy - by banned - United States (California)

YESTERDAY, I DECIDD TO SHAVE MY BALLS. WHEN I WAS FINISHD, I VACUUMD UP THE MESS ON THE CARPET, AN THEN THE FRAGMENTS OF HAIR STILL ON MY BALLS. VERY BAD IDEA. FML

#19196549
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8467) - you deserved it (52938) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

#19152486
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26810) - you deserved it (5269)

On 02/24/2012 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today I Learnd That My "cash Back Rewards" 4 Credit Card Purchases R Maild With The Monthly Statement. The Same Monthly Statement That Goes Straight Into The Shredder Or Fireplace Cuz I Prefer To Do My Banking Online. FML

#18996100
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6945) - you deserved it (37563)

On 02/04/2012 at 9:51pm - money - by twiggy24 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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