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CaptainCats

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CaptainCats
  • Town/Country : Sweden
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 May 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 160
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CaptainCats : I have not yet written an 'About Me' because a major studio owns the rights to my remarkable story.

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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CaptainCats's favorite FMLs

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34122) - you deserved it (2875)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML

#19381776
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15896) - you deserved it (8641)

On 03/31/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

#16968738
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24634) - you deserved it (2588)

On 07/04/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by monquiqui (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9860) - you deserved it (43838)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14744) - you deserved it (23699)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

#3146320
454 comments

I agree, your life sucks (177773) - you deserved it (25400)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

#2801625
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60113) - you deserved it (13174)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was sitting next to this really cute guy in choir class. Trying to make conversation, I asked him what his favorite song was. He replied "Leave Me Alone". I asked him who it was by and he said, "It's not a song, I just want you to leave me alone". FML

#1963959
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21958) - you deserved it (5874)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by jayden5 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84819) - you deserved it (16568)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17474) - you deserved it (236615)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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