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Capt_Obvious

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Capt_Obvious
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 634
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Capt_Obvious : Gamer, Grammar NAZI, Sarcastic . . . That's about all you need to know.

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Capt_Obvious's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML

#20410843
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11410) - you deserved it (9052)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:02am - animals - by I Like My Cat (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27551) - you deserved it (3154)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

#20405524
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46399) - you deserved it (2640)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by daughterinlaw (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

#20404919
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20128) - you deserved it (4129)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30029) - you deserved it (2687)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

#20403594
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24936) - you deserved it (4514)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

#20403258
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24925) - you deserved it (9324)

On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (2448)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm insanely hungover from a long night of drinking. I'm going to my nephew's baptism in an hour as his godmother. FML

#20402048
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4589) - you deserved it (34326)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

#20401192
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16591) - you deserved it (3684)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

#20400604
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21502) - you deserved it (1671)

On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

#20400363
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30516) - you deserved it (4017)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

#20400363
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30516) - you deserved it (4017)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23546) - you deserved it (2129)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML

#20397769
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22304) - you deserved it (7071)

On 12/13/2012 at 9:35am - misc - by AboutToGoKillBillOnSomeone (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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