About Capt_Obvious : Gamer, Grammar NAZI, Sarcastic . . . That's about all you need to know.
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Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19594) - you deserved it (32551) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30797) - you deserved it (10189)
On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29840) - you deserved it (3590)
On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)
Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22070) - you deserved it (17315)
On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28992) - you deserved it (2002)
On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43340) - you deserved it (2491)
On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)
Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42155) - you deserved it (3410)
On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24729) - you deserved it (1718)
On 12/26/2012 at 3:53am - misc - by Shelle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28087) - you deserved it (313)
On 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by really mature, GRAN (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33307) - you deserved it (2941)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32317) - you deserved it (6385)
On 12/24/2012 at 12:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12215) - you deserved it (32630)
Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33059) - you deserved it (6448)
On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30896) - you deserved it (5387)
On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France
Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26768) - you deserved it (13107)
On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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