About Capt_Obvious : Gamer, Grammar NAZI, Sarcastic . . . That's about all you need to know.
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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20495) - you deserved it (3709)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)
Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7398) - you deserved it (22550)
On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22887) - you deserved it (2982)
On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17037) - you deserved it (2586)
On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19546) - you deserved it (2886)
On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18455) - you deserved it (5346)
On 01/05/2013 at 12:30am - love - by VampObsessed - United States (Texas)
Today, during dinner, my mum asked why I've been so upset recently, so I just admitted it was because my girlfriend had cheated on me. At some point during my venting, I asked why this stuff always seems to happen to me. My dad looked up from his plate and said, "Probably karma." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12525) - you deserved it (4030)
On 01/04/2013 at 9:04pm - misc - by moronforadad (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18733) - you deserved it (3856)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)
Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17325) - you deserved it (1189)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13106) - you deserved it (2301)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)
Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15075) - you deserved it (6397)
On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29304) - you deserved it (4756)
On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27333) - you deserved it (1904)
On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9350) - you deserved it (35040)
On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took my girlfriend to go see Les Misérables. I tried to stay tough but completely lost it and started sobbing when Anne Hathaway began singing. My girlfriend called me a wimp and stayed dry-eyed throughout the whole movie. I'm dating a robot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25030) - you deserved it (10306)
On 01/02/2013 at 6:38pm - misc - by Les Miserables is so sad (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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