Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Capt_Obvious

Offline (the 10/27/2014 at 6:27pm) | Search for a member

Capt_Obvious

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11225
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Capt_Obvious : Gamer, Grammar NAZI, Sarcastic . . . That's about all you need to know.

Capt_Obvious's page activity

Visits<b>raven83</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 5:16pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 4:40pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 9:16am<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 5:20am<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:53pm<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:21pm<b>katyliz91</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 9:45pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:50am<b>mominzed</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:22am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:08am<b>Anata</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 5:06am<b>boobear19883</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:14am<b>Zenic032797</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 8:25pm<b>kidinkbaby</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 4:01am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 1:50am<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 12:27am<b>violetsweety</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:24pm<b>tcmxo</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:06pm

Capt_Obvious's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Capt_Obvious's badges

Capt_Obvious's favorite FMLs

yesterday I got taserd by a cop. It was his second day on the job. My crime? Sneezing during a sobriety test. FML

#19576269
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28217) - you deserved it (2096)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl so I puttd an extra 30 pounds on the bar I lowerd pushd.. . and poopd . FML

#19572377
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13235) - you deserved it (41561)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, mah boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere mah cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having putted mah cat outside. big fat FML

#19564569
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30369) - you deserved it (4932)

On 05/02/2012 at 6:06pm - intimacy - by S12Sophia (woman) - France

Today, I was getting intimate with mah girlfriend 4 the first time. When I took mah underwear off, she lookd at mah penis, snortd, and coverd her mouth. She claimd that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

#19558140
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31651) - you deserved it (3520)

On 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by rolyat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. big fat FML

#19557308
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27569) - you deserved it (3049)

On 05/01/2012 at 7:02am - intimacy - by epicsquishii (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got some spam stating that I'd have no love life in the coming 10 years if I didn't reply to it . So, no different to the last 10 years then . FML

#19556689
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19597) - you deserved it (2407)

On 05/01/2012 at 1:14am - love - by monkeywrench (woman) - United States

Today, after a lot of begging, I finally convincd mah husband to shave all of his pubes off . Now I can't even look at it without laughing, and he's mad at me for making him do it . FML

#19552078
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7171) - you deserved it (50912)

On 04/30/2012 at 4:25am - intimacy - by kdehshaden (woman) - United States

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

#19540366
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28472) - you deserved it (3199)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today , I Walked Into A Public Restroom To Find That They Had Set Up A Free Health Clinic For The Homeless; By That I Mean That I Found One Bum Inspecting And Cleaning The Infected , Bloody Genitals Of Another Bum. FML

#19531341
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26175) - you deserved it (2624)

On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today Mah New Dog Unburied Mah Old Dog And Chewed On His Bones . FML

#19520416
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44521) - you deserved it (3222)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement . Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate . FML

#19517748
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14260) - you deserved it (50428)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)

yesterday I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly . After a few drinks, he calld a cab for us . When it arrivd, I seducingly askd, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both . I'll go to mine and u go to yours" and walkd away . The cab driver laughd the whole way home . FML

#19509709
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26725) - you deserved it (11034)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, mah husband draw a panis on avary ona of mah cigarattas. It's a naw pack. FML

#19508691
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8072) - you deserved it (63754)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I am six months pragnant and hava baan lactating. Whan I noticd this and pointd it out to my husband, I jokingly statd that I falt lyk a cow. Ha than raplid. "Oh, you'ra not a cow. At most you'ra just a fat pig." Ha still has no clua why I'm upsat. FML

#19504672
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24760) - you deserved it (4414)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by wmkaz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I blurtad out somathing lyk "humdidumdum arm lalala" in public, attracting mystifiad staras. Tha thing is, I do this avary tima I ramambar somathing ambarrassing I'va said or dona in tha past, in an attampt to arasa it out of consciousnass. So it happan a lot. FML

#19499543
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16649) - you deserved it (9144)

On 04/20/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Ashamed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: