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Capt_Obvious

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Capt_Obvious
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1774
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Capt_Obvious : Gamer, Grammar NAZI, Sarcastic . . . That's about all you need to know.

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Capt_Obvious's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30104) - you deserved it (8628)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I received a ticket for not having my headlights on. The cop who pulled me over had a broken headlight. FML

#18715182
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23792) - you deserved it (3955)

On 01/05/2012 at 10:56am - money - by FML - United States (Florida)

Today, after months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to take things to the next level. He told me that he couldn't have sex with me because of his religious beliefs. I would've been fine with this if it weren't for the fact that I know he and his family are all atheists. FML

#18710247
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26806) - you deserved it (2990)

On 01/04/2012 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I had to ask my girlfriend to please stop telling me about her ex's penis. FML

#18705552
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41367) - you deserved it (3954)

On 01/04/2012 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

#18704788
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28239) - you deserved it (4697)

On 01/04/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by thankzbabe (woman) - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

#18698902
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27725) - you deserved it (4465)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

#18691343
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23017) - you deserved it (12257)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

#18687343
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10116) - you deserved it (28624)

On 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36678) - you deserved it (5486)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

#18681564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25194) - you deserved it (7587)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27407) - you deserved it (7422)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML

#18671764
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32931) - you deserved it (2796)

On 01/01/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by tooearly (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML

#18661224
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24493) - you deserved it (5713)

On 12/31/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

#18657042
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41587) - you deserved it (8919)

On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out my girlfriend starts fights with me over text because apparently, when I'm arguing with someone, I stop speaking in "annoying shorthand" and am grammatically correct. FML

#18645768
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8058) - you deserved it (31052)

On 12/29/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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