About Capt_Obvious : Gamer, Grammar NAZI, Sarcastic . . . That's about all you need to know.
Capt_Obvious's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Capt_Obvious's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home, where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand. We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club. I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2012 at 10:19am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/27/2012 at 3:42am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by ilovemymomma / 05/26/2012 at 3:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
by Karate Kid / 05/25/2012 at 2:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Great. / 05/18/2012 at 11:05am / United States (Montana) / Love
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy
by sneezeattack / 05/14/2012 at 1:27am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Amy / 05/10/2012 at 3:14pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Kids
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
by wtf is wrong with my country / 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by mhm / 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 7:44am / United States / Health
- Today, when I returned from holiday, I discovered my best friend taught my parrot dirty phrases for… Today, I talked to my husband about his lack of interest in sex. Apparently his definition is polar… Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my…