Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Capt_Obvious

Search for a member

Capt_Obvious
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1777
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Capt_Obvious : Gamer, Grammar NAZI, Sarcastic . . . That's about all you need to know.

Capt_Obvious's last visitors

bcofeliamonkeycrutchsodapop83maosquareColtonP68

Capt_Obvious's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of Capt_Obvious's badges

Capt_Obvious's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML

#18763355
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34837) - you deserved it (3345)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:52am - love - by Janie (woman) - United States

Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML

#18760852
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38843) - you deserved it (2038)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I called my brother to share the news that I've been sober for a month. He invited me to a bar to celebrate. FML

#18752093
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26519) - you deserved it (2697)

On 01/08/2012 at 11:07pm - health - by Jonny - United States (California)

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

#18749585
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14334) - you deserved it (22805)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49253) - you deserved it (4208)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that the only two people I've had feelings for in years are both dating each other. FML

#18736387
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28053) - you deserved it (3229)

On 01/07/2012 at 2:47pm - love - by Forever Alone x2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19012) - you deserved it (37896)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I went to a great concert. Against all odds, I got to meet the band. All I had for them to autograph was a flyer protesting their concert that was given to me on the way in. FML

#18732471
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22494) - you deserved it (4769)

On 01/07/2012 at 1:48am - misc - by elijahrobrt - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10379) - you deserved it (50674)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML

#18728659
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43840) - you deserved it (3595)

On 01/06/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

#18728247
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26555) - you deserved it (2378)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML

#18725353
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33845) - you deserved it (4137)

On 01/06/2012 at 11:16am - health - by Ixi_the_pixie - United States

Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML

#18722642
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24899) - you deserved it (5131)

On 01/06/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by plantfood - United States

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (4592) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30104) - you deserved it (8628)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: