About Capt_Obvious : Gamer, Grammar NAZI, Sarcastic . . . That's about all you need to know.
Capt_Obvious's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Capt_Obvious's favorite FMLs
Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML
by failallday / 08/07/2014 at 5:09am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML
by We raised that fool / 08/06/2014 at 9:21am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids
by ditched / 08/05/2014 at 11:35pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Is that..? / 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, I went into my former workplace. While there, an ex-coworker told me that after I quit, they split my position into two separate jobs. When I worked there, my boss had told me to suck it up whenever I said there was too much work for just one person. FML
by Anonymous / 07/14/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Washington) / Work
by guriak / 07/13/2014 at 9:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Intimacy
Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
by sexyhobbit / 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by and god shat / 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
- Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I…