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Capt_Obvious

Offline (the 10/27/2014 at 6:27pm) | Search for a member

Capt_Obvious

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14464
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Capt_Obvious : Gamer, Grammar NAZI, Sarcastic . . . That's about all you need to know.

Capt_Obvious's page activity

Visits<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:23am<b>taranoelr</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 12:15am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 5:01am<b>LuxTheSarcastic</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 1:44pm<b>Shamandalie89</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:31am<b>constipation</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:23pm<b>raven83</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 5:16pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 4:40pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 9:16am<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 5:20am<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:53pm<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:21pm<b>katyliz91</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 9:45pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:50am<b>mominzed</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:22am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:08am<b>Anata</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 5:06am

Capt_Obvious's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Capt_Obvious's badges

Capt_Obvious's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML

#21231545
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50183) - you deserved it (4593)

On 08/07/2014 at 5:09am - intimacy - by failallday (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

#21230823
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43524) - you deserved it (3804)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:21am - kids - by We raised that fool (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I found out my co-workers don't actually like me when they changed the hangout spot after accidentally inviting me. FML

#21230545
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38430) - you deserved it (3690)

On 08/05/2014 at 11:35pm - work - by ditched - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43575) - you deserved it (5153)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML

#21218239
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44213) - you deserved it (14950)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50427) - you deserved it (7172)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55064) - you deserved it (4714)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went into my former workplace. While there, an ex-coworker told me that after I quit, they split my position into two separate jobs. When I worked there, my boss had told me to suck it up whenever I said there was too much work for just one person. FML

#21209204
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47114) - you deserved it (3706)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:52pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53892) - you deserved it (5755)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44536) - you deserved it (6548)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46195) - you deserved it (7808)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44108) - you deserved it (7113)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47603) - you deserved it (8802)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43919) - you deserved it (6675)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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