Search for a member

Offline (the 10/27/2014 at 6:27pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 16535
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Capt_Obvious : Gamer, Grammar NAZI, Sarcastic . . . That's about all you need to know.

Capt_Obvious's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 9:49pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 1:56am<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:23am<b>taranoelr</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 12:15am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 5:01am<b>LuxTheSarcastic</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 1:44pm<b>Shamandalie89</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:31am<b>constipation</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:23pm<b>raven83</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 5:16pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 4:40pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 9:16am<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 5:20am<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:53pm<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:21pm<b>katyliz91</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 9:45pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:50am<b>mominzed</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:22am

Capt_Obvious's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Capt_Obvious's badges

Capt_Obvious's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

by wowzer / 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm / Puerto Rico / Love

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2014 at 12:34am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

by dr.mantistobagon / 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm / United States (Kansas) / Work

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

by LolKaleb / 08/26/2014 at 11:02pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2014 at 12:14am / United States / Love

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

by oops / 08/22/2014 at 10:35am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

by Kev / 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

by 919191 / 08/18/2014 at 9:26am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Kids

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

by fatty / 08/13/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML

by rabidfairy / 08/12/2014 at 10:04pm / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 9:31am / United States (Ohio) / Kids