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Capt_Obvious

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Capt_Obvious

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3495
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Capt_Obvious : Gamer, Grammar NAZI, Sarcastic . . . That's about all you need to know.

Capt_Obvious's page activity

Visits<b>cakefan123</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 7:08pm<b>wratty11</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 5:35am<b>bellladonna</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:52am<b>jbond97</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 9:08pm<b>reiindeer</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:54am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:33am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:39am<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 9:56am<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 9:33am<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 9:15am<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 9:06am<b>miralars</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 11:47am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 7:43pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:27am<b>rylaii</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 10:35pm<b>gallifreyfrey</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 8:13pm<b>Cressent100</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 4:28pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 4:25pm

Capt_Obvious's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Capt_Obvious's badges

Capt_Obvious's favorite FMLs

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30742) - you deserved it (65415)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67942) - you deserved it (4142)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

#20698730
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59764) - you deserved it (2931)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by regstl - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65414) - you deserved it (18672)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

#20695090
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47120) - you deserved it (3908)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

#20694473
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53294) - you deserved it (8979)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML

#20691781
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22563) - you deserved it (46822)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63135) - you deserved it (14379)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got to wash my ex-wife's dishes at her apartment while her new boyfriend played with my daughter in the living room. FML

#20689927
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52401) - you deserved it (11366)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML

#20688373
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47382) - you deserved it (10031)

On 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm - love - by JJLight (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43445) - you deserved it (7429)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

#20688020
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58709) - you deserved it (3976)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML

#20651461
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59953) - you deserved it (3820)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States

Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML

#20647234
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47740) - you deserved it (7466)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

#20645667
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51516) - you deserved it (8549)

On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)



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