About Capt_Obvious : Gamer, Grammar NAZI, Sarcastic . . . That's about all you need to know.
Capt_Obvious's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Capt_Obvious's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 1:26am / United States (New York) / Love
by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by oh why... / 12/20/2013 at 9:51am / United States / Love
Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML
by romance sucks. / 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML
by gymgirl / 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/12/2013 at 4:53pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love
Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML
by [...] / 12/12/2013 at 9:28am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids
Today, my dad decided to clean his muddy shoes right beside me by clapping them together, causing mud to fly all over me. This wouldn't have been a problem had I not been wearing my white wedding dress just before getting married. FML
by >.> / 12/12/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by hi Mum / 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/10/2013 at 6:38pm / Bangladesh / Love
Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML
by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood / 12/09/2013 at 12:52am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
by feiedbutter / 12/07/2013 at 9:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by oh / 12/06/2013 at 4:20pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 12/02/2013 at 11:26pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…