About Capt_Obvious : Gamer, Grammar NAZI, Sarcastic . . . That's about all you need to know.
Capt_Obvious's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Capt_Obvious's favorite FMLs
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
by mellielynnemily / 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm / United States / Love
by Australian Lifeguard / 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML
by sushipanda9 / 10/20/2014 at 8:07pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by Bad Dad / 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm / United States (New York) / Love
by fizzie101 / 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML
by JenniferMay / 10/14/2014 at 6:35am / United Kingdom / Work
by badplacerightnow / 10/13/2014 at 10:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Drafrica / 10/13/2014 at 6:20am / South Africa / Intimacy
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by freeachickadee / 10/09/2014 at 11:32pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
Today, my co-worker spent the afternoon taking online personality quizzes and messaging everyone the results. She was particularly proud of one which told her she was a hard-working overachiever. My boss walked by just as the message for that one popped up and I got in trouble for slacking off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2014 at 11:15pm / United States (California) / Work
by Eww / 10/05/2014 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Health
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, at Toronto airport, the customs officer checked my passport, then called his colleagues to…