About CaptNomNom : Im getting fatter and fatter but I'm probably still thinner the you. Hahahaha.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Mobility
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Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40293) - you deserved it (1995)
On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31860) - you deserved it (3181)
On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33499) - you deserved it (7833)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30017) - you deserved it (1845)
On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26206) - you deserved it (3094)
On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States
Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31918) - you deserved it (2794)
On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14742) - you deserved it (7343)
On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20011) - you deserved it (2528)
On 11/05/2012 at 2:02am - love - by sad (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19507) - you deserved it (1196)
On 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by anonymus - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7759) - you deserved it (116318)
On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (1452)
On 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I got some spam stating that I'd have no love life in the coming 10 years if I didn't reply to it. So, no different to the last 10 years then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14165) - you deserved it (1604)
On 05/01/2012 at 1:14am - love - by monkeywrench (woman) - United States
Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5857) - you deserved it (24650)
On 04/05/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Badchristian (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23819) - you deserved it (1557)
On 10/09/2011 at 1:11am - work - by ab (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I learned the hard way that taking a 20 mile bike ride with my boyfriend's family the day after losing my virginity is the worst decision ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31740) - you deserved it (11342)
On 08/13/2011 at 2:58am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Sunday 12 May 2013
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