[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Cant_Touch_This_

Search for a member

Cant_Touch_This_
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 514
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Cant_Touch_This_'s last visitors

Roxxayaapsweetestsinxoxoemilysanftwsomhazerhazza_1234plexico

Cant_Touch_This_'s FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Cant_Touch_This_'s favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma told me to f*** off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML

#7391871 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (20770) - you deserved it (4417)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up in my boyfriend's dorm and decided to take a shower before he woke up. I used the girls bathroom on the above floor, and afterwards just threw on a towel and ran to the elevator. I forgot to press my boyfriend's floor and I was taken to the lobby in a towel. People were waiting. FML

#7344260 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (3720) - you deserved it (17397)

On 01/14/2010 at 7:43pm - misc - by nude (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought I'd be safe by looking before crossing a one way street unlike I normally do. Too bad I looked the wrong way and didn't see the car that hit me. FML

#7343318 (45)

I agree, your life sucks (5547) - you deserved it (19668)

On 01/14/2010 at 7:01pm - misc - by Lackadaisical (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (8433) - you deserved it (19102)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

#7334131 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (21840) - you deserved it (2384)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by melonhead (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

#7233088 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (13303) - you deserved it (4379)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

#6532769 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (21015) - you deserved it (6636)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by SoVeryMonday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

#6528264 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (19988) - you deserved it (9449)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (27611) - you deserved it (3910)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

#6525806 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (18057) - you deserved it (1869)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

#5349169 (47)

I agree, your life sucks (28549) - you deserved it (5845)

On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my family gathered to pray. It was my brother's turn to pray and he ended with this, "...and help Chev that he does not become the disappointment everyone expects him to be. Amen." I looked on in shock as my entire family nodded and said "Amen" in agreement. Hi, I'm Chev. FML

#5293926 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (31102) - you deserved it (3188)

On 09/16/2009 at 3:58pm - misc - by jaskyriddims (man) - Dominica (Saint George)



Your account

Sign up - Password?
→ Illustrated FMLs
→ The blog
+ FML, the follow-up
↓ Categories

FML's blog

02/10/2012

The whole blog

Switch to FML for visually impaired

FMyLife, the book

Available NOW on:

© 2008-2012 by