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Cansler's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Cansler's favorite FMLs
by really?? / 06/02/2014 at 3:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML
by shart up, your puns suck / 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
by idiot says "you raised him" / 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML
by lahiros / 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/30/2014 at 1:28pm / United Kingdom / Animals
by dear god why / 05/26/2014 at 4:28pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love
by whoops / 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML
by great 1st impression / 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous
by thepixies842 / 05/19/2014 at 11:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by salmone / 05/15/2014 at 9:03pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 11:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by taintedlover / 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by not gay in AL / 05/11/2014 at 1:57pm / United States / Love
Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML
by Anonymous / 05/10/2014 at 1:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…