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Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18019) - you deserved it (3525)
On 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17631) - you deserved it (1355)
On 08/18/2012 at 4:34pm - kids - by yoggabe (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)
Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49113) - you deserved it (2189)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:09am - misc - by Just_Me_88 - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21162) - you deserved it (658)
On 08/17/2012 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my dog was run over. The man who ran over my dog was taking his own dog to the emergency vet. As the man awkwardly tried to apologise to me, he said, "Think of the irony". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17781) - you deserved it (1010)
On 08/17/2012 at 7:26am - animals - by byegeorge (woman) - United Kingdom (Hounslow)
Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29386) - you deserved it (2819)
On 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm - health - by theflow (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26839) - you deserved it (1359)
On 08/14/2012 at 5:06am - love - by cclllc (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21846) - you deserved it (1120)
On 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm - misc - by jannister (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)
Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16113) - you deserved it (2869)
On 08/10/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by shira512 (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)
Today, the summer camp I work at had its annual scavenger hunt, wherein the counselors hide and the kids look for us. It was my first year there, so some of my colleagues showed me the "best hiding spot." Two hours later, still undiscovered, I realized they just wanted to get rid of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15533) - you deserved it (1709)
On 08/10/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by nalathelionqueen (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24875) - you deserved it (2920)
On 08/10/2012 at 12:37am - work - by mike h - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4928) - you deserved it (40304)
On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16870) - you deserved it (1192)
On 08/07/2012 at 11:15pm - health - by MellyBee - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18749) - you deserved it (1754)
On 08/07/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blackfell - United States
Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7494) - you deserved it (20207)
On 08/07/2012 at 3:48am - misc - by Embarrassed - Australia (South Australia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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