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Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19325) - you deserved it (1279)
On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11768) - you deserved it (2337)
On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States
Today, the girl I've secretly loved for years finally noticed me. That is, after I ran over her foot with my truck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14096) - you deserved it (4367)
On 09/10/2012 at 12:26am - love - by Disappointed (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21026) - you deserved it (955)
On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18295) - you deserved it (1629)
On 09/02/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by ImOverHere (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11898) - you deserved it (2790)
On 09/02/2012 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23068) - you deserved it (4403)
On 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Geckosrock99 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16394) - you deserved it (3164)
On 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15210) - you deserved it (804)
On 08/29/2012 at 9:12am - health - by jdch_99 - United States
Today, I had a piano exam. My friend noticed how nervous I was, and recommended that I compliment the examiner for higher marks. When it was time for the exam, without thinking, I told him I liked his hair. Turns out bald people don't like that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5053) - you deserved it (18616)
On 08/28/2012 at 4:38pm - misc - by p (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (4964)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I started my new job at a fragrance store. While training, the manager had me smell all of the scents to become familiar with the products. Before my shift was over, I'd had three asthma attacks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14925) - you deserved it (3477)
On 08/27/2012 at 9:33am - work - by Joe - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19674) - you deserved it (2469)
On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24183) - you deserved it (1369)
On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26353) - you deserved it (2987)
On 08/19/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by Lauren - United States (Iowa)
Monday 17 June 2013
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