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Cansler

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Cansler
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 608
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cansler's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a date, when I suddenly choked on my own saliva and coughed so hard that I passed out. FML

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

#21058247
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56247) - you deserved it (3757)

On 02/12/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his chest. He was so worried about catching shit from the guys on his swim team that he dislocated my jaw trying to get me off him. FML

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

#21057121
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45655) - you deserved it (7506)

On 02/11/2014 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38385) - you deserved it (11734) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45341) - you deserved it (4386)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

#21054632
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37449) - you deserved it (4367)

On 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by vey (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42473) - you deserved it (7548)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

#21052943
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38713) - you deserved it (13075)

On 02/06/2014 at 11:48pm - intimacy - by cryface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML

#21052048
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34860) - you deserved it (7258)

On 02/06/2014 at 1:57am - love - by a2 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48428) - you deserved it (4735) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

#21044284
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41085) - you deserved it (6094)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by CUNTCUNTCUNT (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML

#21044260
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46300) - you deserved it (13844)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wrexham)

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

#21040628
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21277) - you deserved it (40178)

On 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

#21039900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23427) - you deserved it (46230)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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