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Cansler

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Cansler

0Fucked!

Cansler
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4749
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cansler's page activity

Visits<b>Expired_Skittles</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 10:26pm<b>onealmxwilson</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 4:10pm

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Cansler's favorite FMLs

Today, I slept over at my new boyfriend's house for the first time. When I woke up in the morning, he told me all about how much gas I'd had through the night. He said he thought he had a grown man in his bed instead of me. FML

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41349) - you deserved it (12407)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML

#21289648
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32068) - you deserved it (2479)

On 11/01/2014 at 11:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29908) - you deserved it (25104)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32110) - you deserved it (3797)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37258) - you deserved it (3709)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40668) - you deserved it (3869)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

#21251846
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42266) - you deserved it (8376)

On 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by candy man - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45485) - you deserved it (5931)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49274) - you deserved it (5583)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML

#21248418
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35672) - you deserved it (3001)

On 08/30/2014 at 11:14am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I almost got lucky with a girl from my course. We've been flirting since we met. After removing her top and moving downwards with my tongue, whilst moaning my name she decided to mention she has a boyfriend and that we needed to stop. FML

#21248283
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52130) - you deserved it (5918)

On 08/30/2014 at 2:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37517) - you deserved it (5020)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML



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