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Cansler

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Cansler

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1228
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cansler's page activity

Visits<b>Expired_Skittles</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 10:26pm<b>onealmxwilson</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 4:10pm

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Cansler's favorite FMLs

Today, I dyed a friend's hair dark brown. She assured me I didn't need gloves as the dye would wash off. It didn't. My shift as a server is in an hour and it looks like I've been working in a tire shop my whole life. Goodbye tips, hello angry customers not wanting me anywhere near their food. FML

#21222740
169 comments

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49311) - you deserved it (11711)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the couple who had written the offer we had accepted for our house withdrew it because apparently when they came by for the home inspection, my next door neighbor's teenage son tried to sell them heroin. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46218) - you deserved it (4451)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40461) - you deserved it (5798)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56050) - you deserved it (7157)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50473) - you deserved it (6616)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48995) - you deserved it (4731)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43650) - you deserved it (3077)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML

#21202458
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46726) - you deserved it (3616)

On 07/08/2014 at 1:41am - love - by rozsrredd (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41414) - you deserved it (2994)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I hugged my dad. Since I don't hug him very much, he was confused. When I pulled away from him, smiling, he slapped me, saying the smiling and the hug made it look like I was "up to something." FML

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59791) - you deserved it (4621)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51951) - you deserved it (4723)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML

#21182417
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42496) - you deserved it (8777)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:04pm - misc - by secret meat (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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