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Cansler's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Cansler's favorite FMLs
by sa la vash / 03/14/2015 at 4:22am / Netherlands / Intimacy
Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML
by bradix1186 / 02/21/2015 at 1:00pm / Philippines (North Cotabato) / Health
by anonymous / 02/20/2015 at 6:49pm / United States (Arkansas) / Animals
Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm / Miscellaneous
by TJFuentes / 02/11/2015 at 8:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML
by Anonymous / 02/02/2015 at 12:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
by nosexforthee / 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2015 at 6:04am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by BDSM4Jesus / 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by briiiiiiii123 / 01/12/2015 at 2:56am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
by VCDUDE11FTW / 12/25/2014 at 4:13am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up while staying at my friend's house. I saw the bathroom light on, so for a laugh, I got up and quietly pennied the door. After laughing at him struggling to open the door, I decided to let him out. Turned out it wasn't my friend in there; it was his dad. FML
by PikidiliJo / 12/24/2014 at 2:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought… Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of… Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started…