Cansler

Search for a member

Offline (the 09/26/2015 at 11:38pm)

Cansler

0Fucked!

Cansler
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5917
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Cansler's page activity

Visits<b>Expired_Skittles</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 10:26pm<b>onealmxwilson</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 4:10pm

Cansler's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Cansler's badges

Cansler's favorite FMLs

Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that he went soft inside me. FML

by sa la vash / 03/14/2015 at 4:22am / Netherlands / Intimacy

Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML

by vaylosa / 02/22/2015 at 3:36pm / Work

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

by bugger / 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm / Intimacy

Today, I got the most tear-jerking comment so far about my severe stutter. While I was talking to my neighbor, his little brother interrupted and asked me if I was possessed by a demon. FML

by bradix1186 / 02/21/2015 at 1:00pm / Philippines (North Cotabato) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

by anonymous / 02/20/2015 at 6:49pm / United States (Arkansas) / Animals

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm / Miscellaneous

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

by TJFuentes / 02/11/2015 at 8:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2015 at 12:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

by nosexforthee / 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2015 at 6:04am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

by BDSM4Jesus / 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

by briiiiiiii123 / 01/12/2015 at 2:56am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health

Today, my brother and I woke up early to get a sneak peek at our Christmas presents. We found our parents having sex on the couch. FML

by VCDUDE11FTW / 12/25/2014 at 4:13am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up while staying at my friend's house. I saw the bathroom light on, so for a laugh, I got up and quietly pennied the door. After laughing at him struggling to open the door, I decided to let him out. Turned out it wasn't my friend in there; it was his dad. FML