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Cansler

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Cansler

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Cansler
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2085
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cansler's page activity

Visits<b>Expired_Skittles</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 10:26pm<b>onealmxwilson</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 4:10pm

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Cansler's favorite FMLs

Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML

#21318917
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16935) - you deserved it (5439) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/17/2014 at 12:29am - intimacy - by marie0908 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25315) - you deserved it (4700)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

#21317143
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31280) - you deserved it (4020)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

#21316711
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25038) - you deserved it (4654)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:03am - intimacy - by giantcuntflaps (woman) - Australia

Today, I thought it'd be fun to kick open one of those unisex bathrooms in my workplace. I'm not sure who was more surprised, me or my boss who was in there taking a dump. FML

#21315499
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13007) - you deserved it (32624)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:26am - work - by unlucky (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my husband sent me a link to an article titled "5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage." FML

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31658) - you deserved it (3158)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found a very light blonde long hair on my marital bed's pillow. I confronted my husband about it and after hours of arguments and me throwing his stuff out of the house, I found another. Attached to my head. My husband isn't having an affair, I'm just going grey. FML

#21314908
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16123) - you deserved it (36505)

On 12/10/2014 at 7:59am - love - by mastel07 (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40449) - you deserved it (2725)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34969) - you deserved it (3193)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

#21310722
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18204) - you deserved it (35855)

On 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

#21310328
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28843) - you deserved it (6126)

On 12/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by smiles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML

#21309730
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41984) - you deserved it (8440)

On 12/01/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41832) - you deserved it (10541)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28218) - you deserved it (2766)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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