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Cansler

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Cansler

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Cansler
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4748
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cansler's page activity

Visits<b>Expired_Skittles</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 10:26pm<b>onealmxwilson</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 4:10pm

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Cansler's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She then stabbed me with a pencil. I still can't get the piece of graphite out of my hand. FML

#21430170
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24134) - you deserved it (2079)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:10pm - kids - by vkryss13 - Guam

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

#21421518
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27797) - you deserved it (4970)

On 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm - love - by CassidyQueen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

#21420621
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28927) - you deserved it (3592)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

#21401745
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33864) - you deserved it (4527)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my classmate to look over my essay. His comments were longer than the essay itself. FML

#21398217
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24533) - you deserved it (4978)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:53pm - misc - by englishornah (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. The first thing he did was hand me a paper containing listed rules he expects me to follow. When I asked if it was a joke, he promptly pointed to number 7 on the list, "Cleanliness is not a joke". FML

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

#21374998
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (1820)

On 03/15/2015 at 12:11pm - kids - by pledonasm (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my instructor turned up late to get me for my driving test. I soon realized something was seriously wrong. Turned out his wife left him last night, and he'd been drinking the pain away all morning. He ended up rear-ending another car, and now I have to reschedule my test. FML

#21374413
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30768) - you deserved it (2405)

On 03/14/2015 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that he went soft inside me. FML

#21374265
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29810) - you deserved it (6580)

On 03/14/2015 at 4:22am - intimacy - by sa la vash (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML

#21361118
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32951) - you deserved it (3365)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:36pm - work - by vaylosa (woman) -

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

#21361029
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33867) - you deserved it (3872)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by bugger -

Today, I got the most tear-jerking comment so far about my severe stutter. While I was talking to my neighbor, his little brother interrupted and asked me if I was possessed by a demon. FML

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

#21359968
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33580) - you deserved it (6558)

On 02/20/2015 at 6:49pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

#21355411
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34608) - you deserved it (2009)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -



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