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Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34158) - you deserved it (2142)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52029) - you deserved it (2697)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands
Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34484) - you deserved it (9812)
On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55131) - you deserved it (6755)
On 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Soundofaboner - United States
Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65508) - you deserved it (8074)
On 04/23/2013 at 2:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57630) - you deserved it (3128)
On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States
Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (2498)
On 04/08/2013 at 7:16pm - intimacy - by MrKento (man) - Honduras (Francisco Morazan)
Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32355) - you deserved it (11434)
On 04/03/2013 at 1:48am - love - by kenabrookee - United States (California)
Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31139) - you deserved it (416)
On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -
Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28234) - you deserved it (1547)
On 03/28/2013 at 9:52am - health - by paulinapo - United States (New York)
Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31796) - you deserved it (4577)
On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30166) - you deserved it (12911)
On 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37443) - you deserved it (2334)
On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37815) - you deserved it (3030)
Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML
I agree, your life sucks (27528) - you deserved it (3118)
On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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