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About Candyflosss : I AM AWESOME.
That is all.
(Also, apparently if you're younger than 8, or older than 80, you're not allowed on this website. Bullshit.)
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8768) - you deserved it (32725)
On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70083) - you deserved it (14844)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51326) - you deserved it (5079)
On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42700) - you deserved it (6107)
On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52689) - you deserved it (2185)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was in charge of throwing a party for my mom. I told my little brother he was suppose to blow up the balloons which were in my dresser. Apparently, he accidentally found all my condoms, unknowingly, and decorated the house in prophylactics instead of balloons. Happy Birthday, Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36764) - you deserved it (18683)
On 07/07/2009 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by Ryan (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33391) - you deserved it (16008)
On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56684) - you deserved it (2575)
On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6546) - you deserved it (29290)
On 07/04/2009 at 1:54am - love - by mrdave (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11672) - you deserved it (36551)
On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
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