Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Candyflosss

Search for a member

Candyflosss
  • Town/Country : Londonium, Englaquarium
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 October 2000 (13 years)
  • Number of visits : 462
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Candyflosss : I AM AWESOME.

That is all.

(Also, apparently if you're younger than 8, or older than 80, you're not allowed on this website. Bullshit.)

Candyflosss's last visitors

muffy_da_bearDoveOrHawk

Candyflosss's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Candyflosss's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

#6100010
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10876) - you deserved it (42998)

On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55725) - you deserved it (5480)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

#4113781
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47381) - you deserved it (7512)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

#4081805
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55905) - you deserved it (2357)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36022) - you deserved it (19625)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML

#3471774
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7520) - you deserved it (37747)

On 07/04/2009 at 1:54am - love - by mrdave (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

#3373378
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14128) - you deserved it (47137)

On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: