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About CandyMonster34 : Love's to read FML's
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8319) - you deserved it (21641)
On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9721) - you deserved it (20193)
On 12/01/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by helper (man) - Costa Rica (Heredia)
Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18872) - you deserved it (1908)
On 11/08/2009 at 11:37pm - kids - by itsjustmyluck (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26318) - you deserved it (2680)
On 10/26/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by notsohot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19655) - you deserved it (3510)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was driving my new car home when I came around a sharp turn to see a groundhog in the road. I kindly stopped and allowed it to cross when all of the sudden a car slammed into the back of mine. Then, another car went flying around us. That car hit and killed the groundhog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30866) - you deserved it (8207)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by hatecolin (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40501) - you deserved it (1461)
On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8693) - you deserved it (52414)
On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32381) - you deserved it (8911)
On 09/02/2009 at 9:01am - work - by elevatorjerk - United States
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" . I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31452) - you deserved it (10293)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:30am - health - by pussyOUT (man) - United States
Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38181) - you deserved it (9498)
On 08/31/2009 at 1:18am - work - by Timmah (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was driving past a farm that always has 4 chickens walking around outside. It always cheers me up to see them, but I couldn't find them. I wasn't watching the road so I didn't see when I ran over all 4 chickens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12371) - you deserved it (35563)
On 08/27/2009 at 4:53pm - animals - by chickenlover (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17604) - you deserved it (20777)
On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore
Today, I had my friend Mark over for dinner. My Dad asked him what his dad did for a living. We all squirmed a bit when he told us that his dad died last year. We all went about finishing our meal when suddenly my dad says: "I'm sorry, Mark, what did you say your dad did for a living again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41790) - you deserved it (1861)
On 08/25/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by youzabadgirl12 - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I thought it would be a smart idea to walk out on the pier while the waves were 6 feet tall. I was having fun getting "splashed" by the waves crashing over until one wave knocked me over and dragged me 20 feet across the hard concrete pier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6656) - you deserved it (28858)
On 08/21/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by onebadwave (woman) - United States (Michigan)
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