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CanadaIsLAX

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CanadaIsLAX

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  • Title : Mister
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  • Number of visits : 385
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Visits<b>dannyball23</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 9:33pm

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CanadaIsLAX's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39988) - you deserved it (9437)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11749) - you deserved it (41635)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML

#17950170
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28824) - you deserved it (2605)

On 10/10/2011 at 4:29am - health - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36204) - you deserved it (23303)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28010) - you deserved it (11480)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15113) - you deserved it (31307)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15348) - you deserved it (49207)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15348) - you deserved it (49207)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

#17643019
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31566) - you deserved it (3750)

On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

#17619671
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39330) - you deserved it (5292)

On 08/30/2011 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue in my mouth. FML

#17015904
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62483) - you deserved it (4977)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by lizownsvirgy - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60629) - you deserved it (7459)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59233) - you deserved it (10101)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61902) - you deserved it (9677)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69752) - you deserved it (6565)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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