Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11076
  • Number of comments : 2428
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About CallMeHush : Random Thoughts...
What has happened here? The Juggies have been replaced with little whinebags that can't take a joke.

If it is tourist season why can't we shoot them?

Are you looking at me?

Love riding, love the mud. At the end of the day, JEEPs Rule!

Is it spring yet?

PS3 message me, RDR, MW2/SOCOM

Yes, I look at profiles. Sue me I'm bored.

What can I say, sometimes I dwell in the gutter.

Go ahead make me laugh!

I'm having fun here, if you expect me to be serious fuggetaboutit.

Please remember that you shouldn't take anything you read on the 'net to heart, especially if I write it.

Sorry, I'm a grumpy bastard when I post in the early morning. FYL

I'm too old for you and you're too young for me.

It is called an opinion folks, you can have yours and I'm pretty happy with mine if you can't handle that...BELOW ME and drop an e ;)

CallMeHush's page activity

Visits<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 6:05pm<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:55am<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:30pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 7:23am<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 11:15pm<b>IamAngryCoffee</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 4:34pm<b>Addiepop</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 11:53pm<b>appleyberryblast</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 5:49pm<b>s3ahawkz</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 3:40pm<b>jill97</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 12:42am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 2:36pm<b>Cookiiiez</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 2:03pm<b>anythingrandom</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 1:00am<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 5:01pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 9:05pm<b>katie_alex</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 11:51am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 8:34am<b>Powerriot</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:48am

Fucked!<b>RektRules</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:51pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:25pm<b>thebananafreak42</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 4:47am

CallMeHush's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CallMeHush's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML


I agree, your life sucks (7863) - you deserved it (62482)

On 01/14/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by mackenzie_cain (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40667) - you deserved it (3039)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML


I agree, your life sucks (102687) - you deserved it (21839)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (302023) - you deserved it (164270)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML


I agree, your life sucks (181291) - you deserved it (9523)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was taking a shower with my new boyfriend for the first time. Last night was the first night we spent together. As I was washing my hair, I looked down at my feet and noticed yellow water. Some of the warm water I felt on my feet was not from the shower head. FML


I agree, your life sucks (104730) - you deserved it (19312)

On 03/18/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Marcela (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: