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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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CallMeHush

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CallMeHush
  • Town/Country : Cape Cod, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 5 March 1966 (45 years)
  • Number of visits : 7666
  • Number of comments : 2428
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About CallMeHush : Random Thoughts...
What has happened here? The Juggies have been replaced with little whinebags that can't take a joke.

If it is tourist season why can't we shoot them?

Are you looking at me?

Love riding, love the mud. At the end of the day, JEEPs Rule!

Is it spring yet?

PS3 message me, RDR, MW2/SOCOM

Yes, I look at profiles. Sue me I'm bored.

What can I say, sometimes I dwell in the gutter.

Go ahead make me laugh!

I'm having fun here, if you expect me to be serious fuggetaboutit.

Please remember that you shouldn't take anything you read on the 'net to heart, especially if I write it.


Sorry, I'm a grumpy bastard when I post in the early morning. FYL

I'm too old for you and you're too young for me.

It is called an opinion folks, you can have yours and I'm pretty happy with mine if you can't handle that...BELOW ME and drop an e ;)

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CallMeHush's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CallMeHush's favorite FMLs

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (6523) - you deserved it (1879)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

#18139418 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (8798) - you deserved it (1607)

On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

#17092208 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (10581) - you deserved it (838)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969 (542)

I agree, your life sucks (85406) - you deserved it (4086)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549 (589)

I agree, your life sucks (15410) - you deserved it (37350)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

#17080145 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (29410) - you deserved it (3255)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:46pm - misc - by ManInPain (man) - United States

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

#17063705 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (9627) - you deserved it (3527)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Mothering (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

#16661318 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (29814) - you deserved it (2584)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

#15161095 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (39063) - you deserved it (10313)

On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -

Today, my sister and I had a bonding moment. It consisted of me plucking her chin hairs. FML

#15083681 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (13975) - you deserved it (3805)

On 02/22/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Taylor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (14509) - you deserved it (22237)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

#15078337 (438)

I agree, your life sucks (34987) - you deserved it (6827)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

#15068596 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (19052) - you deserved it (1673)

On 02/21/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by peedonme (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

#15036235 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (21477) - you deserved it (6209)

On 02/19/2011 at 2:20am - love - by PlayboyBunny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML

#15012156 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (6343) - you deserved it (32579)

On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)